Time is the best gift any of us can give-or receive.
Something happens as we age, almost as if life suddenly can become clearer and within what matters most. For me, it seems that only the moon knows the truth that my heart beats because when someone has spent the majority of their life alone, it’s not things, but presence that truly means the most.
It’s presence that can transform ordinariness into memories that we will remember for the rest of our lives.
Perhaps it’s about quality time, or maybe even acts of service but more than any of that it’s about a person’s presence not just when they are beside us but the place the occupy in our lives; the space that they choose to take up because in our lives is somewhere they want to be.
I suppose we could say that ultimately what any of us wants is someone to simply choose to be present.
Because it’s not gifts that keep us warm or fancy dates that hold us when we are at our worst and in truth we could dress up and spend an hour or so with anyone and stomach through it but to actually be present for another is something completely different.
I’ve never wanted to date anyone; I’ve never seen myself as someone’s boo or girlfriend because all of that always seemed so fleeting as if it could disappear as quickly as it bloomed and while sometimes we do need those stars that burn hot and bright to streak through our lives, ultimately I was after someone I could grow roots with.
Something happens though when we know what we truly want and it’s that suddenly no matter how hard we try we just can’t accept less because to do that is to forget ourselves and all the work that we’ve done in learning to name our core needs. Any relationship is about balance; about balancing our needs with someone else’s and with the entity of the relationship itself.
Relationships don’t often end because of feelings but because we stop wanting to meet the needs of the person that we are building with; or maybe it’s just that we stop building together. For me though, more than any of that all I am after are the simple things. Those moments that I find myself smiling about as I drive to work, or caressing my skin as I bit my lip, blushing at the memory of.
What I need is someone that wants to make memories with me.
I don’t need to be bae, or even to picked up in limo’s and taken to restaurants where we can’t pronounce half the menu but I do want to feel special; cherished even. To know that I occupy a space in someone’s life that no one else does, and to feel important to that person regardless of what life may throw our way.
It’s often moments that we can’t tell the rest of the world that end up meaning the most to us, almost as if the more people we have involved the more the value decreases but again maybe that’s just one more simply thing I’m dreaming of; that I don’t need to have anyone else’s approval in order to know it’s real. It’s not likes that will give me validation, or comments on “omg #adorbs” that will make me know that I’ve got something the rest of the world only dreams of. Instead it’s ultimately the simple things that will let us know exactly how we feel about someone and of course, how they feel about us.
Perhaps it begins with presence and ends in truth, not the pretty kind that we dress up with bows but the ugly kind, the real kind that is cracked and worn but that fits all the same. All any of us want to know is that we are valued, for who we are and what we bring and so simply speaking, that is all I need.
The simple things are what separates what we have from what we could have with anyone else, the walking hand in hand along a quiet street, the picking up of my favorite chocolate, opening the door, guiding me as I cross the street and the way the rest of the world is put away for time together.
But when it’s the simple things that mean the most, it’s also those very things that are missed the most. Life is about balance, and so is love; balancing needs of course but also consistency with change. Nothing stays the same forever, that is a guarantee but I suppose one of the simple things is that we will continually get better; stronger, more amazing and of course will shine our light even brighter.
The most meaningful of moments are those that don’t cost a dime; talking together as the waves roll across the distant shore, cuddling in front of a fire on a midwinter’s night, watching the stars of August dance across a darkened sky and of course when we awake from a bad dream or sick in the middle of the night, someone is there for us because they have chosen to be present for life’s moments.
Their presence has become the greatest present, regardless of how overly simple it sounds.
And while we could spin and out of adventure, and those grand gestures that steal our hearts at the end of the day it’s who wants to settle in beside us that matters most. The person that doesn’t need a reason to see us, or for that matter doesn’t let a reason stop them from doing just that.
But it’s the person who knows that it’s the simple things, the small moments that matter most and that quite frankly make up a life, and while life will always be moving fast and hot around us, it’s making the choice to always make time for what matters most.
And don’t we all want to be that person that matters most to someone.