As the rain fell against the cold glass of my window so did the tears fall from my eyes across cheeks that always tried to smile them away.

 

I don't know if it was the way the skies were darkened like midnight's dream or if it was just because sometimes no matter how far you bury something it always seems to find its way to the surface again. 

 

I didn't use to be a crier but maybe that was before I understood exactly what it meant to have something to cry about. 

Or maybe it's just when I decided to open my heart to life it meant being open to all of it.

 

The joys suddenly become intoxicating highs and the sadness becomes palpable enough to send shivers down my spine.

The truth is I don't know when I started feeling everything as deeply as I do, maybe it was always this way.

 

But I do know that I'm stingy with my tears, while I may cry over injustices that tug on my soul or happiness that makes my heart overflow there's been very few people I've actually cried over.

 

I'm selective in who begins to hear them start in the crack of my voice and the eyes that fill like the incoming tide because for as long as I can remember I've always had to be the one to dry my own tears and brush my own self off.

Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be though. 

 

But would I change a thing about it?

How could I?

 

Because the heart that can cry over a single word or memory is also the one to find possibility in the impossible. 

The one who has to learn to brush her own tears away is also the first to come to the side of those in pain because she knows what it feels like to think no one understands. 

 

Because the reality is if you wanna truly live you're gonna have earned things to cry over.

And really I'd take tears over forgetting any day because only fools think they can forget.

So some days just like the rain I let them fall reminding me of why it mattered, and why it still does. 

Knowing that my tears may be even more valuable than my smile, because my tears hold the secrets even my lips can't whisper.❤